i'm desperate already. i am now damn desperate cos i am not studyin. and i am freakin scared. i shud start preparing myself to go poly man... fuck. i hate myself. why didnt i work harder?! i cant blame anyone else except myself which is the most irritating thing. urgh.

*

pw gave me a big chocolate cake for me b'dae! haha. apparently an early gift but anyway the cake is damn nice tho quite sweet. =D

*

i need to go look for my prom stuff. now i need to spend money again. and not on sth i could use daily. oh well. i guess this dress i'm gonna buy will have to see me thru all major events which require me to wear dress ba. hahaha.



i guess i am pathetic now. a real pathetic ass. hai. i guess i am never good in maintain relations with anyone and i am damn scared if i ever graduate, i might jus drfit apart from ppl. hell. i shud jus die.



exams are finally over!! wahahahaha. went out with teresa last wed and had quite a bit of laugh out with her. apparently, when we walked past this shop in marina sq, she asked so loudly if the guy behind the glass was real (he was real) and the guy heard us!!! and he mouthed to me when i looked at him tat he was real! and we walked past him several times and iy was damn embarrassing!!!

anyway went out with xw and they all on thurs and had a whole night of fun. wahahaha. but was quite sad since mimi could not join us.... if she was here, i bet can have much much more fun!! went sing k with hon!! and he sang till damn good la!!! like a bit like zhang xue you. wahahaha. and den went to eat at geylang with xw and nora and anting. after tat went xw hse and stayed over. haha. generally was quite okie lo. the highlight was more of hon's good voice! haha. ANYWAY TP's brownie and italian soda is damn nice!!!!! wahahaha. must go there again! =D



oh no. this is bad. i'm not studyin. i'm not studying! i'm gonna be so dead la. haven touch on maths the whole day. this is wad i call suicidal. wtf. i'm really gonna go mad le. and have been eatin on e excuse tat its exam period. have not been studyin cos too full to study. haven study cos gt time which is like dumb. argh. i'm a damn freakin failure. and i am damn freakin afraid. i shud have gone skool to study. at least i wun use the com.



what the fuck la. i noe he's asking me to go study for my own benefit but fuck. like i dunno that maths is my alevel subject! do i seem that dumbass to him?! wth! damn pissed. not like he's my anybody. i noe i asked him for help and everything but hey...my life is my life and i dun need him to probe so much into it. and what the hell can. whenever he's the one to start the conversation he want to be so fuckin idiot to cut it off and make it seem like my fault den after that come apologising to me. urgh. i'm not his gf for heaven's sake! i treat him like a fren and he shud treat me like one too right! what the hell la. now i'm so fuckin pissed that i keep using words that i shud not use. ARGH! fuck.







exams gonna start soon in no time and i am still bloggin..haven touch on maths at all and haven finish my chinese and have finish econs. wtf. i am such a failure. but anyway since its last minute, i shall give the best last minute i could. chinese die also must get A and tat is sth i must really secure. as for econs, i hope for a D at least. maths at least maybe an E. hai. *praying hard*

anyway, received an email from wj. was kinda surprised given the fact that i din talk to him much for the whole year and after we broke up, perhaps we haven talk more than 20 sentences for this one and a half years and since i am a talkative person, 20 sentences is really little. well, the email is one that is forwarded and i guess its to ppl he din talk often to..ppl like me. and so it mentions in e email bout me still bein his friend and stuff...haha..and all those lame lengthy stuff so i guess i wasted my time reading it. to be honest, e idea me and him might get back together again flashed across my mind at times, but the main thing is that this idea actually made me feel disgusted at myself and sometimes at him. =P but deep down i already noe that its like a for sure thing that its impossible le. cos i already have not the teeniest liking for him anymore..haha..not even much for a fren either. quite sad right? maybe its a bit evil and narrow minded of me to be this way, but i really cant help it. the relationship between me and him can only be something of a superficial nature i guess. so yea. perhaps the topic bout him jus keep comin up and it is jus plain irritating, but hey....i never like (shall not use the word love) someone that much before. =D

being a les jus seem like a better choice sometimes cos guys can be really disappointing man. but for most gals like me? single is still e best presently.



singapore must be really small. never really feel tat strongly about singapore's small population and area. after using friendster, i found out that there are jus so many of my frens are linked to my long lost friends. and the connection is not tat far off lo. the connections from one fren to another is jus plain amazing. call me sua gu but seriously lo...its only recently tat i found out i have a pri skool fren tat's actually my gd fren's fren. the world is jus super small. but in anyway, glad tat i found another long lost fren! wahahaha.



looking back to last year, i guess my life is so much more exciting this year. cos of him, i became close to mimi and got to realise that boyfriends need not be my everything. my world last year revolved only about certain ppl, but now i realise friendships are more reliable. without teresa, mimi and all those buddies of mine, i din noe how i survived last year. super grateful to all of them. the memories i have for this two years are jus very enriching. haha.

sometimes i look at his pictures, i would seriously wonder why in e world did i choose to be with him. haha, tho its quite mean to say it like tat but i guess right from the start, i jus dun click well with him. even for now, i believe there are jus a lot of things he and me cant really agree on. so breaking up last yr was a right decision. and i guess he made the right choice too. if he handled the break up well in terms of telling me truthfully, perhaps it would have been the PERFECT break up and things wun be as bad. but since it had all happened already and things are such that i have gained so much from the break up.

so i guess i really have to thank him for breaking my heart last year.



yipee! got wireless broadband now! haha.

anyway, got really pissed off ystd by this guy who actually booked a bus from my mum yet refused to pay and even switched off his stupid phone! and he actually made the bus uncle wait for 2 hours lo! wtf. asshole. and still wanna be rude to my mum lo. jus a idiotic immature brat who wanna take bus down to MOS. ass.so ystd went out to buy presents. and i bought my boxers! haha. one for me, one for xuewen and one for wu hao who was quite embarrassed at the shop. but he was quite poor thing too la, since he had to carry all the shopping. but its really nice of him tho. =D

and i chatted with mimi too! haha.



went back to skool today to celebrate teachers' day with mr hon. so the whole thing went like this:we all met up in skool in e afternoon, after which anting came and supposedly had a consultation with mr hon in the council room ( tat's most likely due to hon's laziness to leave the 3rd floor) and den we all went to "surprise" him with cookies and cupcakes that xuewen, nora, anting baked. and i went empty handed. oh well. then we gave him a pig cookie made by anting. haha. den we proceeded with a wonderful lunch. ( fried rice by nora; bee hoon by xuewen; tea eggs by wu hao; ben and jerry's from anting) haha.

after the lunch we started playing with water guns and me and hon started playin and decided to sabo wu hao and attacked him. SO the highlight came. our wonderful mr hon came up with a brillant idea. he planned an ambush on anting who went to the toilet. so he hid in e cupboard. as a loyal fren and to get back at him for sprayin water at me first, i used drum sticks(for the drum) and locked him inside. hee. so when anting came back, we all had a good laugh. after hon struggled for a while, we let him out. but in all, the whole episode ended with nora "accidentally" breaking the water gun.. haha. and we all went home after nor went hysterical when she saw maxi. and a taxi driver thinkin me and anting are hon's colleagues and askin me if hon ate too much oily food. =D

quite a fun day right?!